Small Steps, Real Shifts: A November Check-In on Style, Systems, and Stuckness
- Jen
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Some weeks, the work of building a personal style system feels less like big breakthroughs and more like paying attention to the small, revealing moments. This was one of those weeks. Between a surprisingly emotional hour in my closet, some helpful podcast and Youtube episodes, and packing for a weekend away, I found myself learning not only about clothes, but the quiet friction and clarity that can show up along the way. Here’s what surfaced:
A Follow-Up to My Style System (FMEA)
Small step #1: Facing the Closet (Literally)
Earlier this week, I set aside an hour to create a few “ready-to-go” outfits for church. Within ten minutes, I got a headache. It was surprising—not because outfit-making is easy for me, but because my body was clearly responding before my mind could even catch up.
There’s a reason I avoid “playing” in my closet. I don’t fully understand it yet, but there’s some kind of emotional or mental friction attached to experimenting with my options. When your body pipes up that early in the process, it’s worth taking note.
In that hour, I managed to put together just two outfits—pieces that feel and look good, and align with my three style words. It's not a huge number, but that wasn’t the point.
The point was: showing, hanging in there, and trying to learn something.
Small step #2: Creating Tools that Offer Support
The outfits were loaded into the Stylebook app so I can reference them later. It’s a small administrative habit I’m working on, but one that should give me something to fall back on when I’m rushed or don’t feel creative.
Takeaway:
I learned that part of my “stuckness” isn’t about clothes at all, but the emotional hurdle of entering a space (the closet) where I expect myself to have fun, and be experimental and intuitive. It seems that expectation may be a little too heavy.
Maybe you’ve felt this in some way too?
Your version could happen in meal planning, decluttering, or trying to exercise—something "smallish" but strangely loaded. Hanging in there and pushing through the discomfort is where growth is found (I keep telling myself!).
Revisiting the Three-Word Method
This week I also listened to a great episode of the Everyday Style podcast with Jen—a twist on the “three word” method for understanding your style. Her approach is slightly different from Allison Bornstein's and very practical.
A few gems that stuck with me:
Your three words should apply to everything you wear—workwear, loungewear, pajamas, all of it.
Some words we use may feel “stylistic” but don’t actually speak to how you want to look.
Her version of the three words can also be called style guideposts. Use them in finishing the sentence:
“I want to look ___, ___, and ___.”
That framing is clarifying. As she says, “Once you figure out what you want to say about yourself through your clothes, you can choose pieces that say those things.” Simple.
I’m thinking it would be worthwhile to revisit the three word method. Stay tuned!
A Small Win: Traveling in Alignment with My 3 Words
It’s holiday travel season, and I was packing for a long weekend away this week. I watched a video about packing for travel from one of my favorite YouTubers that I’d like to pass along. Her trip was for two weeks, but it reminded me that I didn’t need nearly as many options as I tend to pack for just 4 or 5 days.
When I chose my travel outfit for the drive, I checked it against my three words. I wanted to be comfortable, of course, but comfort doesn’t have to cancel out looking like myself. So I grabbed a cozy sweater blazer—just enough to elevate the look without sacrificing ease.
It was a small shift, but it made me feel more aligned and pulled-together. That’s what the guideposts are for.
That’s all for this week! I hope your Thanksgiving holiday is an opportunity for reflection, gratitude, and full of whatever you need most—rest, connection, or simply a moment to breathe.