Find Your Style with Three Simple Words: Allison Bornstein's Method

Last time we looked at how we might see the Pareto Principle at work in our closets. That means that most of what we regularly wear comes from a small proportion of what we own. If that's the case, it's fair to say that a lot of our clothes aren't seeing the light of day.

There could be a lot of reasons why we're wearing so little of our wardrobes. One of them could be that what we are buying isn't syncing with what we really want to be wearing. To get a little clearer on that, we'll be looking at how to use stylist Allison Bornstein's Three Word Method, which is based upon using the power of words.

In an interview with British Vogue, Allison spoke about observing a correlation between not having the language to define one's style with the tendency to amass a wardrobe that wasn't getting worn. Not taking the time to consider what you like, and what fits who you are can lead to aimlessness; there's no clear intent. I think we all know what this can look like. I fly by the seat of my pants more than I want to admit, so I have a tendency to jump in and start something before fully understanding what I'm trying to accomplish. Here's an opportunity to stop for a moment, ask ourselves a few questions, and see where that takes our closets and style.

In the past, I have tried coming up with some words on my own, but I got rather lost. Thankfully Bornstein offers some help to avoid that. Each of the words are intended to correlate with an aspect of your style: what you are wearing now, what you aspire to wear, and how you want to feel in your clothes.

First Word: The Practical/Realistic - your "regulars", or what you wear most often. For this, you'll need to go into your closet and pull out the pieces that you've been wearing. This doesn't mean to pull out only what you like, because you may not really like what you've been wearing. Be honest, you just want to get a pulse on right now. As you look at what you've pulled out, what are you seeing for colors, textures, and silhouettes? What does that make you think of? (there is a word bank below if you need some ideas)

I saw a lot of denim in my regulars with a lot of neutral tops and a few stripes. My most worn sweaters are basic cashmere crewnecks. Words I came up with were classic, casual, and relaxed. In the end, I decided to go with relaxed. Casual was the front runner for a few weeks, but as I kept considering my words, I liked how relaxed could translate over to more occasions.

Second Word: Aspirational - what you would like to achieve, or the direction you would like to take your style. Looking at your Pinterest may be helpful if that's what you use. Checking out what you save on Instagram is another good place to go. Is there someone whose style you admire? If you enjoy people watching, what catches your eye when you are out and about?

The other day I walked by someone whose whole look made me do a double- take. She had a sleek ponytail (ha! I just cut my hair), trench coat, and a crossbody bag with an interesting metal strap. Her vibe fit my aspirational words: sophisticated, classy, and elegant. While sophisticated and elegant are always something that will catch my eye, I'm not sure if I would feel comfortable with that. Classy feels more like something I could be brave enough to wear. So that's my word.

Third Word: Emotional - how you would like to feel. What's the feeling you want your clothes to promote in you? We all know that clothes make a difference in the way we feel. Studies have shown that clothes affect the way our minds work. Enclothed Cognition is the term that describes this phenomenon. In order for this to have effect, one had to be wearing the item of clothing (not just looking at it), and also had to assign some kind of meaning to the garment (like, "smart doctors wear lab coats" or "capable professionals wear blazers"). The wearers would "embody" the meaning they gave to the clothes in a measurable way. They became more capable in their lab coats. Just like nutritious food makes a difference for our bodies, clothes can actually make a difference for our brains. Pretty cool!

So, give it some thought. How do you want your clothes to make you feel? Since I've been fascinated by all this for a while, it was fairly easy for me to arrive at my emotional words: empowered, or confident. After considering my go-to clothing choices in recent years, I went with empowered. I already know that a pop of color, or a bit of leopard print will give me a charge when my batteries are running low. I need to do more of that and make sure my closet has some fun options.

Word Bank

If you need a little help, here are some words to get you started:

Artistic Avant-Garde

Bohemian Bold

Chic Classic

Classy Coastal

Comfortable Confident

Eclectic Edgy

Effortless Elegant

Empowered Functional

Inspired Joyful

Minimalist Modern

Nostalgic Playful

Preppy Radiant

Refined Relaxed

Romantic Rustic

Sculptural Serene

Sporty Sophisticated

Streamlined Structured

Tailored Urban

Vintage

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So, there you have it. How did you make out? Once you have your three words, start to use them when you get dressed in the morning. What can you add to your outfit so you have all three going on? It's about time to start moving out the winter clothes, so keep your words in mind as you start adding your spring pieces in.

Remember that you aren't wedded to your three words, they will change as you do and over time! If you ever find yourself needing a better fit, just flip through some words and see what works better.

We'll definitely be revisiting this idea again. In the meantime, I hope you will find that having a few key words will help make the vast (and sometimes overwhelming) world of style into something that's doable, authentic, and fun!