Now that we’ve said goodbye to 2020, here’s a brief catch up:
The last post was way back in April when we were still in the early weeks of the pandemic. Back then, we were still getting used to all that came along with the new norm of social distancing. Crazy as it was, putting the brakes on life as we knew it wasn’t all bad for me. As a lifetime people pleaser and a textbook introvert, a steady stream of social interactions leave me overwhelmed and frazzled. Chronic self-mismanagement has left me (you guessed it!) with a tendency to be chronically overwhelmed and frazzled (ha!). So, in those early days and weeks of the pandemic when we were busy figuring out social distancing, I was surprised to notice that my general sense of wellbeing was on the way up.
Don’t get me wrong, I would never be a hermit (well, some days I might be tempted!) and I would far prefer my frazzled state to a pandemic, but this (dare I call it) blessing made me realize that I had an unprecedented, suddenly socially acceptable opportunity to pull back and enjoy a mental breather. It was a no brainer. So, in addition to following all of the newly imposed restrictions, I decided to unplug from social platforms and put this little blog on the shelf.
At the time, the blog had been active for about 18 months (it took me about 6 months to start publishing anything), and I only had a handful of posts to show for it. I wrestled with fear and people pleasing with every post. I had hoped that pressing on would help me to see that there wasn’t anything to be afraid of, but that didn't happen. Of course, I knew I had nothing to fear, but I was still scared to death. As it’s turned out, the results from a conscious step back have been the most helpful thing I’ve ever done to understand the pathology of my people pleasing.
After taking a break, I’m still not without some fear nor beyond the temptation to people please. Since I’ve been slowly rejoining the world, I’m learning my limits. I’m figuring out how to exercise the freedom to go slowly, assess, and adjust accordingly. It will be a lot to untangle what that actually looks like, so I'll just let that unfold. For quite some time, I’ve been looking forward to when I would be ready to start writing on the blog again. I’m thankful that the day is finally here.
Happy New Year!
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1